


Hope

by TirNanOg89



Series: Past Is Prologue [10]
Category: NCIS, Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:59:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TirNanOg89/pseuds/TirNanOg89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 10 of Past Is Prologue, back story of 'Animi' Series<br/>Follows Supernatural cannon until Cas goes boom. SPOILERS for anything and everything Supernatural, if you haven't watched the ninth season, BEWARE! In my happy little head Cas realised what he was doing at the last moment and sent all the 'souls' back to Purgatory just before he died. No Titans! Set about a month after Cas 'died', again! At the end of season six. Daddy Winchester fans beware, he is not portrayed nicely in this story.<br/>Set over a year after Wild, NCIS season 6 episode 12, then completely AU.<br/>2013, after Avengers: Assemble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope

Hope

Dean looked around the interrogation room, as these things went it was nice. The room was airy and clean, with a table and the obligatory hard plastic chairs. To be fair, he was actually a little worried, well, slightly concerned. He and Sam had been following the stories of a Water Spirit which lead them to DC and the Navy yard there. They had found the water spirit that was luring people into the water to drown, they had a ritual to get rid of it, but one of them had had to go on to the base, to the creatures nest, to finish it off. Dean had pulled rank on Sam and gone in his self. He had luckily finished the ritual but the damn thing had knocked him out as a parting gift. He had come too with a man leaning over him taking his thumb print and knew he was fucked. There was no two ways about it, he was done for, this wasn’t your average middle American sheriff, or even the FBI, this was the Navy, which included Marines. He may have seriously conflicted feelings for his father but he did respect the Marines and all they had taught the man. He knew he wasn’t walking away from this, he would just have to hope they handed him over to the FBI sooner rather than later so he had a chance to escape, and hope Sam stayed out of sight until he did. The man that had taken his print was not a marine! He was tall but slightly thick set, with a rounded face and soft eyes that in any other circumstances would have been his cue to start the bullshit and try talking his way out, but the armed marines around him put paid to that idea. Dean sighed deeply and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable fallout. 

"Uh, Ziva? I don’t have a clue why he's here, but Fornell will want to know asap. We should take him straight to interrogation, there's a lot of warnings of just how slippery he is. Sergeant, could you have everyone on high alert please? He's known to travel exclusively with his brother, I'll get Abby to send out some pictures, he'll be here somewhere."  
"Yes Sir!"

The man looked a little shocked at the honorific but shook it off and turned back to the woman he had first addressed. She was about 5'7" and stunning, with long black hair and an olive complexion. When she spoke he pegged her accent as middle east.

"Who is he McGee?"  
"Dean Winchester!"  
"Really? Now why would one of the FBI's most wanted walk on to a Naval base? And who knocked you out?"

Dean looked up at her with his cheekiest innocent grin.

"You wouldn’t believe me if I told you."

She looked at him searchingly for a moment before turning back to McGee.

"Gibbs will want to talk to him before Fornell gets here, I believe we should both take him to interrogation, then I will help look for the brother, one should not be far from the other from those reports."

It didn’t take them long to cuff him and take him inside, with a heavy guard of Marines all the way to the room he was now sat in. He had been waiting about twenty minutes before the door finally opened again. He looked up with his usual fake grin, waiting for another of the suits he had passed on his way in, preparing to annoy the hell out of them until they handed him over to the FBI, but it dropped off his face as he took in the man walking steadily to the table he was sat at, never once loosing eye contact as he sat down and laid out the file he had been carrying. The silver hair made the man look stunning, he was striking with piercing blue eyes and held his self like a Marine, there was no doubt in Deans mind that this man was the be all and end all of life. He felt his throat closing over at the mere thought of lying to him. Between the scary marine/dad vibe he had going and the drop dead gorgeous package with those eyes he was seriously screwed, and not in the good way. Dean always acted the playboy when Dad or Sam were around, it was expected and it was a shit load safer than Dad finding out he was bi, at the very least, by now it was too ingrained to stop the act. But women never interfered with hunting, Deans major weakness was men, men like this one, those that made his knees go weak, that had him wanting to just bare his neck and beg, the kind of man who could take control of him, so he didn’t have to control everything for once, so he could, just for a moment, let go and be a human being, instead of the tin soldier his father had made him.

******************** 

Tony was watching Winchester as Gibbs walked into the room, his eyes widened fractionally in surprise at the mans reaction to Gibbs. Winchester tried so hard to keep his face blank but it was obvious to Tony, and Gibbs, just how much of an impact he had had. This was going to be interesting.

******************** 

Gibbs took in the young man, his reaction was interesting, and he could use it to his advantage. From the records he knew that heavy handed was going to get him nowhere, so he began softly.

"I'm Special Agent Gibbs. You wanna tell me why you're on my base?"

Dean actually shuddered at Gibbs voice, though he tried to hide it, then he shook his head and tried to pull his self together.

"Taking in the sights, nice stretch of water front here."

Gibbs continued to look at him, his eyes intense and immutable, as Dean held his gaze, then looked anywhere but at him and eventually started squirming. Then he got angry. Who the hell did this guy think he was? He was living his life the only way he knew how, the way he had been raised, risking everything to try and help ungrateful bastards, and this was what he got? Screw it! Dean slammed his hands down on the table, disappointed but not surprised to get no reaction, and pushed his seat back so violently it fell over before pacing the room.

"You know what? Screw you! I was doing my damn job! I'm putting my ass on the line for you ungrateful bastards and not one of you'll listen! Nobody ever god damn well listens!"

Dean had had it, something in that look, that steady unerring stare, snapped the final nerve he had been running on for years. The stress and fear and pain that had been steadily building since he was four years old finally broke. He had been responsible for Sam since their mother's death, being left on his own to look after him in one dive motel or other for weeks on end, with never enough money to feed them both, let alone clothe them and buy the books Sammy so craved. He had had to steal or con money from others almost his entire life. At least Sam didn’t remember before, didn’t know how good it had been, how Dad had changed, how open and loving their home had been, what it was to be a loved child and then become a parent figure in one short, horrific night, having to raise and protect Sam, and then to have to let him go when he left for Stanford. How he had searched for Dad until he was too scared to be on his own any more, the guilt of dragging Sam back to this life, guilt at the relief of having him back where he could watch him, protect him, not be alone anymore. Then going to Hell, being bought back, the Apocalypse, loosing Sam, getting him back wrong, getting him back for real, Cas going mad and then loosing him. Between the stress of so many years, the pounding head and aching body from being thrown around and knocked out, being caught and those eyes, it was a surprise he stayed coherent as long as he did.

Gibbs continued to silently watch Winchester as he paced and ranted about his truly shitty life, his father and brother and the supernatural. The man was obviously near breaking point, and not from the barely started interrogation. The problem was, the words coming from him were utter fantasy, but he believed every word. It was blatantly obvious he was beyond lying, he looked wrung out and seemed damn near terrified, but Winchester believed every word he was saying. Annoyingly, the only thing Gibbs could think was that Water Spirit's would certainly explain the lack of evidence in the three unsolved drowning cases that were currently sat on his desk. But Winchester didn’t stop there.

"Started the god damn Apocalypse! And we sorted that out, finally, we put him back in the pit, I gave up Sammy to save this god forsaken world and he comes back screwed, then Cas goes off the rails and now he's dead too! And I couldn’t do a god damn thing about it, still not good enough!"

Gibbs took that as his cue and stood, walking over to where Dean was still pacing with his arms wrapped around his self in a textbook self-hug, attempting to comfort his self and obviously failing miserably. Gibbs stood in front of Dean until he noticed him and stood still, he was panting and his eyes were puffy with held back tears but he still glared at Gibbs defiantly. They stared at each other for a long while, then Gibbs nodded and held his arms out slightly, quietly murmuring.

"You did good."

He may not believe all that Dean had said, and he thought he was probably suffering PTSD if nothing else, but Dean obviously believed it, and he obviously needed someone to acknowledge all he had been thorough. Dean looked at the open armed invitation for just a moment before giving in, finally letting it all go, dropping his control for just a while before he had to go back to face reality. He dove on to Gibbs, wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his neck, letting go and sobbing for all that he had lost. A small part of his mind was trying to tell him that Gibbs was just humouring him, that he didn’t really believe him, thought he was crazy, but he bitch slapped it then ignored it. For just this moment he could let his self believe the lie, that someone believed him, believed 'in' him. Gibbs pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight, whispering nonsense and rubbing his hand comfortingly over his back as he waited the storm out. As an NCIS agent he knew he should put Winchester in a cell and wait for Fornell to take him away, as a Guide he was feeling more and more sure that he shouldn’t, that he should keep the young man with him, protect him and his brother, that they were important and needed to be kept near. It was the first time his instincts had gone against his duty and his loyalties were divided, he would have to get Tony in here as soon as Dean could handle it. 

When Dean had stopped crying and had loosened the death grip he had on Gibbs jacket, Gibbs gave him a last tight squeeze and pulled back enough that he could see his face. 

"I'm gonna call DiNozzo in now. We need tissues and a drink. Then you are going to tell us everything. From the beginning. Understood?"  
"Yes Sir."  
"Don’t Sir me, I work for a living, I was a Gunny, not some pansy officer. DiNozzo, get me coffee. What do you want? And when did you last eat?"  
"Um, whatever you have, and I'm not hungry."  
"Not what I asked. What do 'you' want?"

The emphasis on what 'Dean' wanted was pointed and Dean gave him a tired and painful attempt at a smile.

"Coffee would be good, black and plain. And I think I ate yesterday."  
"DiNozzo, coffee, water, food, plenty of it."

Gibbs didn’t wait for a sign he had been heard, he knew Tony was listening and would do as asked. He walked over to the table and pulled a chair out of the way before pushing the table to the back of the room. He put the chairs with it then walked to the viewing mirror and sat on the floor with his back to the wall underneath it. Dean just stood there looking at him in shock for a while until Gibbs raised an eyebrow at him, then he went over and joined him. He sat about a foot away from him, hugging his knees up to his chest. Gibbs sighed and shuffled over until he was flush up against him and put his arm across his shoulders, pulling him into his side. Dean went stiff for a moment until Gibbs shushed him, then he leant into the offered comfort. They sat in silence for about ten minutes until there was a knock on the door. The door slowly opened and Tony popped his head around it with a grin.

"Room for one more?"  
"Always!"

Gibbs grinned at him. Tony chuckled and pulled his head back only to open the door fully and wheel a catering trolley full of food, water, and a full coffee machine, with plenty of extra water, into the room with him. He smiled again as he threw a pack of sandwiches and then crisps at each of the men, then poured three cups of coffee, refilled the machine and started the next pot, took the coffees to Gibbs and Dean, putting his own on the other side of Gibbs from Dean, went back for water bottles then grabbed his own food and went to join them on the floor.

"Abby's got the security feed going straight to a privet hard disk, the room's in lockdown until we call her. Man, I'm hungry!

They ate and drank their coffee in peace before Tony refilled their cups and Gibbs 'looked' at Dean. He waited until Dean felt his gaze and looked at him before he spoke.

"From the beginning."

Dean sighed and then began. He started, as Gibbs said, at the beginning, with the night their mother died, he told them of moving from motel to hotel, sleeping in the car, stealing and conning his way through school, learning how to kill, how to hunt and how to protect Sam. How he did his best in school, though he hid it from everyone. He told them of his first hunt with his Dad, Sam finding out what they did despite his best efforts. He told them of Sam leaving, going on his first solo hunt, Dad going missing and dragging Sam back. He told them of Jess dying like their mother. Going back on the road, Dad disappearing, hunting, getting caught, getting free, Sam's visions, Azazel, Sam disappearing, finding him and making a deal with a demon for his brothers life. He told them of the year they spent just waiting for the Hell Hounds to come for him. He told them of dying and of coming back, but nothing of Hell its self. He told them of finally finding the creature that had dragged him out of Hell, Castiel, an honest to God Angel of the Lord! He told them of the seals and Ruby and Lillith and Sam breaking the final seal. He told of Sam's torment, Lucifer trying to get him to say yes, Zechariah trying to get him to say yes to Michael. He told them of 'The Plan', Sam agreeing then turning on Lucifer from the inside, and it's failure. He told them of Cas saving them from everyone, and him from his self, distracting Michael at the very end and dying for it. He told, in tears, of Sam finally getting control of Lucifer and taking him into the pit, along with Michael, and being stuck there with them. He told of the following year that was almost worse than Hell for all it's normality, then finally getting Sam and Cas back. Then he told them how badly it had all gone wrong and loosing Cas again, how hard he had fought against the loss, how he had denied the possibility of Cas, his friend, betraying them so badly, and he couldn’t stop weeping, for so many reasons. 

"I just wanted him to be a kid, just for longer than I was. Always tried to keep him safe, protect him. It wasn’t like dad had to tell me to, I knew, it was my responsibility, my job, and I keep screwing it up. I dragged him back into this life, I let Jess die, I let Azazel take Sam and kill him. I made the damn deal that landed me in Hell and I took the damn knife and started the fucking Apocalypse! You wouldn’t think anyone could screw up much more than that, but I managed it, Sammy went off the deep end cause I wasn’t there, getting high off demon blood and screwing that demon bitch. Then Cas shows up and I didn’t even realise what he was sacrificing for us, he damn near fell, and I treated him like shit. I couldn’t stop the demons opening the seals, I couldn’t even stop Sammy saying yes to Lucifer. Cas had to stop me saying yes to Michael, I ran away, I gave up, I was gonna end it all and just say yes. But in the end it made no difference, because Adam did, our half brother, we'd only just found out about him, they pulled him out of Heaven to fight for them. And Sammy, my Sammy, he beat Lucifer! He let the son of a bitch in and he bitch slapped him down, pushed him aside and dragged him back into the pit with him, my Sammy, he dragged the Devil back to Hell."

The awe and love shone off of Dean as he spoke of his brother and Gibbs and Tony both felt their hearts breaking just a little more for all that he had gone thorough, that he could be so proud of his brother and see none of the same heroism in his self.

"Sammy came back, but he was wrong and went off to screw the world for a year while I was living the 'normal' life, and I didn’t even figure out he was back and Cas was going thorough an angelic mid-life crisis! I didn’t figure out what was wrong with Sammy for forever and screwed up as Death too, couldn’t even do that right. Then Cas went right off the reservation! Went all 'I am your Lord and you will love me', and I couldn’t get him to see reason until it was too late, if I could only have made him listen sooner, he could have lived, but I couldn’t save him either. I have saved literally hundreds of lives, but I can never save the ones that matter, not to me. Everyone I love dies, because I'm not good enough."  
"Bullshit!"

Dean started badly at that, he had almost forgotten they were even there, he was mostly talking to his self, then Tony continued and really shocked him.

"If your father were still alive I would cheerfully put a bullet in his head! No four year old should be allowed to think they were responsible for a baby! My Dad's an ass but yours makes him look like a saint! Just how old were you when he told you why he left you with Sam? Before he put a gun in your hand? Made you kill for the first time? Do you know how most serial killers are made? Because they are made! They are made by assholes like your father! Who teach their kids to be scared! That's what makes most killers, fear! He set you up in every possible way to be the worst type of human imaginable and yet you not only managed to stay mostly sane, you raised your baby brother so well he got into Stanford on a full ride! Do you know how difficult that is? For any average kid to get into Stanford on a full ride is damn near impossible! You did that Dean! You! No one else, just you! You raised your baby brother so well he beat out hundreds of other students for that place! Not good enough? For what exactly Dean? Abby's been going over your files, if there is anything, anywhere, on a computer, she will find it, including your invitation to MIT."  
"I didn’t get in, they never replied, I made Dad stay in that shitty town, in that shitty motel for two weeks waiting for a reply! They never bothered, cause I didn’t get in."

Gibbs shook his head slightly, stopping Tony from replying to that.

"Dean, how many college applications did you submit?"  
"Just that one."  
"How about Sam?"  
"Just Stanford I think, he didn’t tell me or Dad until he got his letter. He got a teacher from his school to sort it out, cause we had to move. He got his letter and pretty much left, Dad told him not to come back. I should have made him wait for me, he was in a piss as usual, the girl, left without me. I called him, but he wouldn’t come back. Dad was gonna take me the next morning but Bobby called with a hunt, a werewolf, in Lily Bay State Park, in Maine, we tramped around that god forsaken park for weeks before Dad got a call from Bobby, another hunter had got it, they forgot to tell Bobby, idiots. Dad took it really well, considering. By then it was too late, Sammy refused to answer the phone."  
"Dean, applications get sent off from November, they don’t usually answer until March."

Dean looked steadily back at Gibbs for a long moment. Gibbs and Tony both saw the pain shoot through his eyes before it was smothered and Dean was shaking his head, as if, if he could just do it long enough the facts would change. He gulped and his eyes hardened to a stormy hazel, cold and forbidding, just daring them to contradict him again. 

"No. Dad said, 'You'll know by the end of the week. They always answer the good ones first, anything after the first week are charity cases, to make up the numbers.' I made him wait the extra week just in case, I'm not proud, I'll take anything I can get. They didn’t answer, I didn’t get in. Dad took me to the bar, that last night, said I had to get used to disappointment now I was full grown, 'Ya don’t always get what ya want, ya get what ya need, so ya don’t need more than ya got.', that's what he said, that's what he always said. I didn’t need more money to feed Sammy, I didn’t need more clothes, I didn’t need to sleep for class, I didn’t need to call Sammy before the signal cut out."

Gibbs and Tony heard the tone change in Deans voice. He had been so sure, Dad was always right and he always knew what was best, for all of them. But the more he thought about it, the more he looked back at what had happened, with the eyes of an adult instead of a child or a teenager, the more his quick mind snapped from one conclusion to the next. The mind that kept him alive all those years was finally turned back to the past and put to use evaluating it, actually thinking about how events had happened, not just accepting that they had. He carried on speaking, mostly to his self, as his mind jumped from time to time in his life, ancient past to recent history and back again, bouncing almost randomly through his past, it was worse than being in Heaven, and finding out the worst days of his life had been the best of Sam's. his voice grew softer as he got lost in the memories, the pain, old and new, and the ever growing rage against the injustices, mostly from his Dad, the man he had always done anything in his power to obey, even when he didn’t know why, except that one, intolerable, order, the only one he ever disobeyed.

"I didn’t need to tell Sammy we didn’t have the money for his books. I didn’t need to go to classes when I could be working. I didn’t need to tell Sammy what we did, why he couldn’t stay with his friends, why he couldn’t be normal, why his hide 'n' seek had to be played with a shotgun. I didn’t need to know why I had to kill Sammy, I didn’t have to ask questions, I didn’t have to know why you would even consider letting me know Sammy had to die, let alone ask me to do it, I was just supposed to follow orders like I always have, never question, never hesitate, do or die. But I couldn’t do that, you trained me to protect him too well didn’t you ya son of a mother fucking bitch whore! How did I not see this? God! I am so thick! Fucking useless!"  
"Enough!"

Gibbs growl cut across Deans tirade but he was so lost in his own head it didn’t stop him, not with what he had just figured out.

"No! Don’t you see? From the day Mom died he fucked me every way he could! His good little soldier! Give Dean an order, any order, and it's done! Keep Sammy safe, shoot the 9mm straight, shoot the shotgun straight, learn the sword, the axe, the stake, drive the car, suck my cock, kill the monster, salt and burn the ghost, shoot the witch, decapitate the vampire. Oh, and I thought I was so god damn special being the eldest, I got all the best of Dad! I had all the responsibilities and all the rights. Oh I was special alright! Bet you weren't 'special' enough to be the one who got the 'privilege' of looking after your Dad."

Gibbs nor Tony were stupid men, they were not naive, nor green, they were both veterans of many years in Law Enforcement and had seen just about everything. They had both figured out where the near hysterical rant was going before it was half way out of Deans mouth. Both of them shut down any and all external expression of what they were thinking or feeling, they had no choice if they didn’t want to make things worse. They knew that now Dean had started to figure this out in his own mind, the best thing they could do for him was listen, without judging either him or his father. It wasn’t easy keeping quiet, for either of them, but they both knew that Dean had 'known' his whole life that his father could do no wrong, he had only gone against him once, and that was in defence of his brothers life, as he had spent just as long 'knowing' he was responsible for his brothers safety that was hardly surprising. Dean was hard-wired to defend his family and going up against that right now would just kick conditioned responses into action in his mind and make things harder for everyone. They had to let him work through it, all of it, until he asked for their help, which might never happen.

"Ya look after Sam, ya get what ya need, ya don’t question orders or people die, those are the rules, simple as that. My whole life has been one big painful lie. That's why Sammy left, because it was all one big, shitty lie. And I dragged him back. Straight into Dad's hands, practically served him up on a platter. Served myself up on a platter for the Apocalypse."  
"Did your Dad give you the God complex, or is that all you?"  
"What?"  
"How is everything down to you? So far you've taken responsibility for your brother, your friend, demons and the rest of the worlds population. How exactly is any one man supposed to do that? You didn’t make your brother do anything, ultimately it was his choice, everything. Ok, when you were raising him, and doing a damn fine job of it, he didn’t have much choice, but 'he' decided to go to college, 'he' decided to follow you back. Everything from the time he left your Dad, not you, was his choice. I'm sure you would have mentioned if your friend Cas was mentally deficient in some way, so his choices were his own too. Your Father, I aint going there, but that was 'all' on him! Not a damn thing you did or didn’t do made any difference or ever would have. The only thing you could have done any different was to grab your brother and run, and why would you? You didn’t know any different, we all grow up 'normal' in our own minds, because it's normal for us. And if you had left you would probably have been dead within a year or split up by Child Services, and that can go wrong in so many ways it's unreal. You did the best you could, you always have, haven't you?"

Dean couldn’t argue that, though he had failed spectacularly and often he had always done his best.

"Yes Sir."  
"I'm not Gibbs, but don’t Sir me either. You raised your brother in some of the worst conditions I can imagine, and I've got a good imagination, the only thing you've done wrong is believe you could control anyone else. Don’t look at me like that, I know you don’t want to control anyone, but that's the only way most of this shit would have turned out any different. You can't make others choices for them Dean, you know that, you're a smart man, so stop blaming your self when others screw up. If you want to blame your self for your screw ups, it's pointless and counter-productive, but that's your choice. Just stop taking the blame for the rest of the world."

Dean looked from Tony to Gibbs and back in stunned confusion. That was so obvious! Why did it all sound so obvious when Tony said it? He knew he couldn’t control others, especially Sam, so why did he feel responsible for their choices? Why was it always on him? Because it always had been. Dad had always made him painfully aware that it was his responsibility, his fault if things went wrong. But how much of it was actually his fault? 'The Righteous Man' that was what the angels had called him, in the beginning anyway, they had plenty of less complimentary names for him once they met him. Could he really have been that bad if God had thought him righteous? Though to be fair, God had let Cas take over Heaven, so Dean didn’t think he could really be considered of sound judgment. About as good a role model as his own Dad. As he was thinking there was a knock at the door. Gibbs sighed and got up, patting him on the shoulder as he walked to the door.

************************   
As soon as Fornell arrived Ziva took him to the interrogation room and knocked quietly on the door. Gibbs came out a few moments later, leaving Tony to look after Dean for a while. 

"Tobias."  
"Gibbs."

Fornell knew he wasn’t going to like this conversation much just from Gibbs tone.

"I need you with me on this one, off the books, hear me out, watch the surveillance footage, then give me an answer. I need you to back off and leave this one to me. He's not what you think, neither of them are. I need them here."  
"Are you really asking me to ignore a dozen warrants, state and federal, and leave one of the FBI's most wanted with you?"  
"How many times have I asked for a favour off the books?"  
"Oh let me count the ways!"  
"And how many times was I wrong?"

Fornell looked at him for a long moment before shrugging.

"Ok. So your gut tells you this one is innocent, so why look so shifty?"  
"My gut and everything else, except common sense, reality and physics. Even Abby's gonna have a job believing this. I would really love to get my hands on his father though, whatever the truth is, I thought DiNozzo senior was bad enough, but this asshole did a real number on his kids, miracle they're as sane as they are, which aint much. Abby's going over the footage with Ducky in her lab, I want his opinion too. Just let someone know when you're leaving."  
"You're that sure I'll leave him here, with everything we know about them?"  
"Think you know. And yup." 

With that Gibbs walked back into the interrogation room and Fornell shook his head before going down to Abby's lab. He watched the first hour of the video before he told Ducky to let Gibbs know he would be back in a few days and let Abby know she would be receiving 'everything' they had on the Winchester brothers. This was a hell of a bucket of worms and he'd rather it was all the mad ramblings of a delusional mind, but like Gibbs and, if he was any judge, Ducky he couldn’t help believing it was true. It would certainly explain a lot of shit that had happened over the last few years, as if the damn alien invasion wasn’t bad enough. He shuddered, God help them all, if he was even out there.

*********************** 

When Gibbs walked back into the room Dean was curled up on the floor with his head in Tony's lap. Tony was petting his hair and Dean was obviously asleep. Gibbs sighed and refilled his and Tony's coffee before sitting down next to his lover and leaning against him. Tony sighed as he settled in comfortably and accepted the coffee gratefully, it was going to be a hell of a long night, after an already long day. 

Dean slept for just over three hours, the longest he had managed in one go since he could remember, unless he was unconscious. The first thing he registered was the comfort of laying on someone's lap and having his hair petted, then he really registered that he was on someone's lap and having his hair played with and reacted badly. Well, badly to most people, great if you were a Hunter though. He was up and had his back against the wall on the other side of the room before he even had his eyes open. He crouched defensively by the wall until his brain caught up to the fact that nobody else was moving. Gibbs and Tony sat perfectly still, until Gibbs raised his coffee for a sip, as if nothing had happened. Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he stood carefully and sauntered over to the trolley, grabbed a bottle of water and drank half of it in one go then grabbed a bag of crisps and ate them. Gibbs and Tony kindly didn’t mention the 'episode'. Once he had finished his water Tony stood up.

"I'll go and let the Director know we're leaving, meet you in the lab?"

Gibbs nodded as he stood up.

"Yup, gonna see Duck first, then Abs. Come on, lets go."

Gibbs walked out of the room closely followed by Tony. Dean just stood watching the open door until Gibbs put his head back around the frame.

"You coming?"

It wasn’t so much a question as a query as to why he was taking so long. Dean was a little startled but didn’t see any reason to stay where he was if he was allowed to stay with Gibbs instead. He followed Gibbs straight to the lift and decided he was sticking to the man like glue if he had any choice in the matter, and he generally did.

****************** 

Gibbs walked Dean in through the doors to Autopsy calling out to Ducky.

"Ducky, Dean. Dean, Ducky."

Ducky was standing next to one of the draws with the door open and the tray pulled out, displaying the body. He pulled the sheet back over the seaman and closed the door after pushing the tray back in. He had received a call from Tony only moments before and was watching Dean carefully, he had displayed the poor mans body to see Dean's reaction to it. Dean looked at Ducky and nodded in greeting, glanced at the body and then ignored it. It said a lot about the man and his life, he wasn’t scared or disgusted, but he wasn’t fascinated either, which was a relief. 

"Excuse the company gentlemen, I'm afraid my usual customers aren't much company for most. Not to worry though, Jethro wouldn’t have bought you down here if I weren't qualified to help."

Dean just shrugged at him, trying hard to cover up any feelings what so ever, and doing quite well, but not well enough to get past Gibbs or Ducky, the young man was still terrified and didn’t know what the hell was going on. Ducky hadn't taken his eyes off him since they had entered the room and he couldn’t help but note that he was never more than a few feet from Gibbs. He was never so close as to be intrusive but always within arms reach. He probably wouldn’t have noticed if he weren't so fixed on finding out everything he could about the young legend, he was more than a little perplexed since watching his rant at Gibbs and what he had seen of after, and a little worried that this was all coming out. He had hoped his friends would never have to learn about the darker side of nature. He had recognised the eldest Winchester as soon as Abby had started the video, and it had taken all his years of control to not cry, for the young man and for his dear friends who were about to get a rude awakening.

Dean was not happy about having a check up. Not in the slightest bit happy, and he made it known. He started by just telling them he was fine and they didn’t need to worry on his account, when that failed, he told them he wasn’t worried so they should just leave him alone. When that didn’t work either he tried being belligerent until Gibbs glared at him for being rude to Ducky, then he got pissy, who the hell did Gibbs think he was anyway? That didn’t work any better than anything else, and only netted him another glare and a laugh from Ducky which just made him sulk and throw his self on the table in a snit. He was no more happy when told to remove his shirt, until he realised that Gibbs was, in fact, staying for the exam. This was what he had been equally desperate for and dreading. He knew he shouldn’t trust Gibbs like he was, he knew just how dangerous it was, for all of them, but he had already done so much damage as to make any more irrelevant. With the Angels and demons equally off his case for the time being he didn’t see why he couldn’t take something for his self for once. He eventually quieted down and pulled his shirt off then pulled his tee over his head. When Ducky drew in a sharp breath he assumed he was more bruised than he had though, then Gibbs growled, honest to god 'growled'! Dean was off the table, tee half way across the room and grabbing for a weapon he didn’t have as soon as he heard it, scanning the room fast for the threat, crouched low in a defensive posture to try and compensate for the lack of a weapon. The only threat he saw was the glower on Gibbs face. He stood up right and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Dude! Don’t do that! Christ! I thought something had got in here!" 

Dean grinned at his own over reaction until he realised Gibbs wasn’t laughing.

"What?"  
"Who the hell did that to you?"

Gibbs growled out the question and Dean couldn’t help the full body shudder, his eyes falling to half mast and his head tilting submissively to the side, damn near begging Gibbs to do something, or just chill out, one or the other, he didn’t think his heart could take much more of this.

"Dude! I told you the damn Nix threw me around! Son of a bitch knocked me out!"  
"That scar is much to old to have been inflicted in the last twenty four hours young man."

Ducky spoke quietly hopping to keep things calm while Dean explained. Dean looked at his arm where Ducky was pointing and sighed.

"Oh! That's where Cas dragged me out 'a Hell."

Gibbs and Ducky shared a long look before Ducky started his examination, Dean had sounded both wistful and pained. Once he had finished he sighed, shaking his head, for one so young to have gone through so much, to leave so many scars, was just wrong, though not unheard of or a surprise with what he knew of the Winchesters, and this was just from the last three years. 

"Well, you are as well as you can be after the day you’ve had, a good shower and meal then a full nights sleep. I take it you are taking him home so he can rest properly Jethro?"

Dean looked up at that and neither man missed the hopeful look that flitted across his face. Gibbs held in a sigh and nodded at Ducky. 

"Gonna see Abs first, then get home, she's got some files for me."  
"Ah, good, good. Feed him well Jethro, no junk food, he needs a proper meal. And don’t give me that look young man! You will eat a proper meal then get a good nights sleep. And I would suggest you find a way of letting your brother know you are well so he can get a good nights sleep too."  
"Yes Sir."

Dean mumbled under his breath, he couldn’t believe how pushy these guys were! And he would never for a moment confess to just how much he revelled in it, just like he did when Bobby had worried over them. He ducked his head, so he missed the grins Gibbs and Ducky shared over his head, and they all walked out the door and back to the lift. He knew they were going to see someone named Abby but he didn’t expect the Goth chick running at him as soon as they walked in through the door of the lab. He just saw a blur of movement and reacted. 

Abby had been badly upset over the video she had listened to of Dean Winchester, she hated the idea of anyone growing up without the love she herself had been surrounded by, so she ran at Dean with her arms open wide to envelop him in a true 'Abby Hug', capitals well deserved, but he fell back into a defensive stance, reaching for a weapon he didn’t have as soon as she started moving. Abby stopped dead at his reaction and her face fell even further, a pained 'oh' of sympathy escaping her as she considered why someone would react so badly to the offer of a hug, or just general fast movement. Gibbs turned a glare on Dean and raised his hand for a short sharp 'Gibbs Slap', capitals also well deserved. He did not expect Deans lightning fast and dangerous reaction to it, though that didn’t stop him countering it. Dean span as soon as his hand raised and threw his arm up in a solid block before automatically, and without thought, reacting to the perceived threat by lashing out with a punch at the solar plexus that would have had many men on their knees gasping for air. Gibbs deflected it on instinct and the fight was on. Gibbs had enough experience to hold back and not go for the kill, Dean not so much. He was stressed to hell, scared witless, separated from Sam and being attacked. Dean was not used to fighting people, he fought the things that go bump in the night, and they were generally a hell of a lot stronger than him, so he fought like he always did, for his life, luckily he was also still near to exhaustion. 

Gibbs was glad they were in a confined space and he had backup if necessary, because he wasn’t sure he would win this one. Gibbs was damn grateful when moments into the fight Abby screamed his name, he was used to her, to her reactions and her voice and noted her position without looking. Dean was used to having to rescue victims from multiple attackers and looked at her for a vital second to make sure she was safe. It pleased Gibbs on a fundamental level that Deans automatic reaction was to protect others, it also gave him the edge he needed to swipe Deans feet out from under him, twisting him so he landed face first on the ground in a controlled fall, with Gibbs securely over the top of him, pinning him with one arm behind his back and both legs immovable. Dean's fight or flight instincts really kicked in and he fought like Gibbs was the devil his self but he couldn’t move him. He eventually went stiff, shaking with adrenalin and anger, biding his time and conserving energy until he could get away. Gibbs held him fast, he knew better than to give him a chance to get away before he had calmed down, and that wouldn’t happen any time soon with an audience. He looked over to Ducky and nodded towards the door. Ducky nodded and took Abby by the arm, gently leading her out of the room, hushing her before she could speak. 

Gibbs started using his free hand to gently pet Dean, rubbing soothing circles on his back, without letting up on his hold, trying to calm him down. He started talking to him quietly, telling him about Abby and Ducky, just nonsense so he could hear his voice. He kept him pinned until he had stopped shaking then shifted off him slowly, still petting him and talking, but letting him know he was free and safe. Dean went stiff for a moment as he moved then curled up into a ball that should have been too small for a man of his size and started shaking again. He tried to hide his face, wrapping his arms around his head and pulling his knees up as far as they would go, but Gibbs knew he was crying. He couldn’t help imagining the years of practice Dean must have at hiding his pain from the world to be able to cry so silently and with barely a shudder running through his body. 

Tony silently poked his head around the corner in one of his rare serious moods, having been warned by Ducky, and waited for Gibbs nod before moving closer, making sure to announce his presence.

"Hey Gibbs, Fornell left, said he'll see us in a few days to talk, he's gonna pull everything they have and send it to us, see what we can't sort through, try and get our boys legit! Ducky said he'd meet us at home tomorrow, looked serious."

Tony made sure his foot falls were heard as he crossed the room to the two men, then crouched down next to Dean, speaking before he began petting the other mans hair.

"Hey Deano, Sam's staying well hidden, nobody's been able to find him yet. I've called off the search for now, told the Director we'd set a trap later, better not to spook him into running, so he'll be fine till you can call him. I've got your phone here for you, yes, we could trace any call you made but only Abby can do it properly and she wont unless Gibbs asks her, it's up to you."

He put the phone on the floor by Deans head and smiled sadly as it was grabbed and pulled into the tight ball that was Dean. Tony thought his childhood was pretty shitty, his Dad had the best intentions, most of the time, but it was still shitty. What he had heard of Deans was infinitely worse. Being given the responsibility for a six month old at four years of age would have been bad enough, but adding in his fathers Para-military lifestyle, being abandoned for weeks on end and being taught that he had to kill to save the world and 'look after' his father, it was no wonder he was screwed up in the head.

"Come on, lets get you home, Ducky swore he'd shoot both of us if we didn’t get a good meal into you. I think it can wait till tomorrow though, we'll grab something on the way home, then Gibbs can show off his steak tomorrow, I'll even buy some veggies, do Ducky proud. He said something about blood tests and scurvy, I'm pretty sure that was just a threat though. I have all the files in the car."

Gibbs grinned up at Tony.

"Abby's running his blood now, she'll get it to me when it's done. Come on, time for home."

Dean looked up at him, uncurling slightly so he could see him. His face was wet with tears and he looked about ready to give up. Gibbs sighed, took hold of his hand and pulled him up into a hug.

"Come here. Yeah, ya screwed up, don’t do it again. Now forget it. Shake it off, we're going home."

The words could have been considered harsh, but it was just Gibbs, and it was exactly what Dean needed.

************************* 

They stopped off at a drive-through on the way home and Tony bought way more burgers than Gibbs thought it possible for the three of them to eat. When they reached his house he walked straight in through the unlocked door and saw Dean tense at the lack of a lock. 

"What do ya need?"

Dean looked startled once again.

"This is my home, I know it's safe and secure. Tony knows we're safe here. You don’t. So what do you need?"

Dean didn’t hesitate any further, this was something he 'did' need, to be able to feel safe and actually relax, maybe get a couple hours of sleep.

"Salt. And a way to secure the doors, all of them."

He felt the first stirrings of shame at his lack of apparent gratitude to his host, who had not only let him in his house but essentially broken him out of jail too. Tony grinned.

"I used to have the same problem, well, with the doors, I have no idea why you want salt, Jet sorted it for me, it wont take a moment."

There was a large and heavy armoire next to the door which Gibbs and Tony pushed in front of it, it wasn’t opening for anyone tonight. Dean grinned.

"Do you have any salt? Stuff you use for the snow maybe?"

Gibbs walked down to the basement, grabbed a bag of salt and took it back to him. They watched carefully as Dean ran a line of salt around the armoire in front of the door, making an even, unbroken line from wall to wall. He then moved on to the windowsill and they both caught on, every opening in the walls should be treated the same. They shared a look and went down to the basement for more salt. They each took a bag and Tony ran upstairs to the top floor while Gibbs started protecting the basement. Neither of them thought it was necessary but Dean did, so they would do it. Once they were all finished Dean went round the house and checked everything, he was used to having one door and a few windows in a motel room, not a whole house to protect and it made him a little jumpy, but he was satisfied with the others work and was grateful they were taking him seriously, thought he knew they were still having trouble believing it all. They finally settled in the front room and started on the burgers, they were all used to cold food by now so it didn’t bother any of them. Gibbs and Tony ate slowly as they watched in an almost morbid fascination as Dean devoured burger after burger until they were all gone.

"So, other than the sandwiches earlier, when was the last time you ate?"  
"We didn’t have time to go to a bar on the way here so we're a bit short of cash. Didn’t know how long it would take to find the Nix on a base that big so I put the cash in Sam's wallet. He got some poofy salad yesterday, the smell of the sauce turned my gut so I didn’t bother. We drove straight through the day before so I guess the day before that."

The matter of fact tone was what bothered them the most, he obviously didn’t see going without food as an issue, it was just a part of his life, like all the rest of the crap he put up with. And it was so 'normal' for them, his brother probably didn’t notice either. They had all been awake for almost forty hours by then, except Deans nap earlier, so Gibbs decided they were going to bed. He showed Dean to the spare room, pointing out theirs on the way, while Tony got him a spare pair of jogging bottoms to sleep in. they were both dubious about leaving him alone to sleep but neither of them commented. They left him taking a shower and went to take their own, soon settling in to bed, wearing shorts in deference to their company. They heard Dean settle down and finally fell asleep, Gibbs curled around Tony, holding him close as always. They both woke less than two hours later when they heard muffled yelling from the other room. They grabbed their guns and ran to Dean, only to startle him awake from his nightmare when they burst into the room. 

Neither of them was surprised, they had expected it, they also expected Dean to jump into defence as soon as he woke. They both lowered their guns and put the safeties back on. Gibbs handed his gun to Tony and calmly walked over to Dean in the corner where he had wedged his self upon waking, talking calmly to him the whole time. It didn’t take long to calm him this time, which Gibbs took as a good sign. He looked over at Tony, Tony nodded back and they quietly lead Dean to their own room, tucking him in to the bed between them, both of them holding him tight as he finally fell back asleep, eventually following him. 

Gibbs woke to a hand on his thigh, and it wasn’t Tony's. He sighed and picked the hand up, putting it on his chest and holding it there, rubbing it with his thumb in soothing circles. Dean started playing with his chest hair, his intent obvious. Gibbs sighed and rolled over to face him, still holding his hand so he couldn’t run away.

"Enough. You're here 'cause you needed to feel safe, not for anything else. Don’t want or need it. Besides, Tony gets jealous."

Dean stiffened as Gibbs spoke, then more as Tony shifted behind him. He stared at Gibbs until he grinned at him, then shyly grinned back.

"Come on, hands off my man, coffee's calling!"

Tony obviously wasn’t worried about Gibbs fidelity as he got out of bed and left them there to get the coffee brewing. Gibbs patted Deans hand and grinned again.

"Come on, get moving, don’t got all day, I need coffee."

Dean looked at him, considering him for a moment.

"I get why you said no, but why haven't you kicked me out?"  
"I will if you keep me from the coffee much longer."  
"Seriously Gibbs."  
"Seriously? Can't blame you for the way you were raised. I'm no shrink, but I know people, I know the way you're raised has more impact than most realise, though not as much as some would have you believe. We all make our own choices, and you did pretty good so far. Despite everything, you raised your brother right, got him into a hard college, on a full scholarship. And you're not a serial killer, that's always a bonus. Now coffee, it's too early for this touchy feely shit."  
"Right, no chick flick moments."

Gibbs grinned at him again and rolled out of bed, grabbing a t-shirt as he left the room searching out his coffee. Dean lay still soaking up the residual heat from the two men, as well as the comfort of waking up feeling safe. That hadn't happened since he was four. He didn’t understand these two. They had believed him enough to take him out of custody, they had invited him into their home, let him salt the whole house, helped actually, given him all he could eat and a warm bed, then let him share their bed after his nightmare, all without asking for anything except his story. He didn’t understand, but he liked it. He slowly got out of bed and went back to the spare room to get dressed, before heading back down to the kitchen. Gibbs and Tony were sat at the table drinking coffee, a cup waiting on the table by a third chair ready for him. He sat down to join them and they sat in silence enjoying their coffee. Dean started fidgeting in his seat, Gibbs ignored it for a moment, but not long.

"You got a problem there?"  
"Nah, I'm fine."  
"What's wrong Dean?"  
"Nothing. I'm fine."  
"Yup, and I'm the Queen of Sheba! Spit it out. Now."  
"Just want a beer."

Gibbs and Tony shared a look.

"Don't! Don't you do that! You don’t get to judge me for that, I done plenty of fucked up shit you can judge all you want, but not that. It's been days since I had a drink!"  
"I am 'Not' your father Dean. I don’t judge, I gather evidence and find facts. That's what we do. Your hands are starting to shake, you know what that is. You don’t eat enough, or often enough, and you drink more than is healthy for you, you don’t sleep enough, and if you think I'm going on, wait till Ducky gets hold of you, he'll tell you exactly what it's all doing to you. He's laid off us since Tony moved in here, we both sleep more, surprisingly."  
"We tire each other out."  
"Tony. You gotta work with us Dean. My people are busting their ass's to get you and your brother legit, don’t screw the pouch cause of drink."  
"Legit?"  
"Yeah. I may not have got half of what you were saying, but I know the truth when I hear it, and Tony can hear a lie, you believe every word of it."  
"I know I do, I lived it! But nobody ever believes it until they're getting their ass chewed off by some son of a bitch!"  
"Delusions are very real for the person living them, but you can't share a delusion that detailed. If you were imagining it your brother would have known, and I know you didn’t make him up, we have evidence. And delusions smell different."  
"Ok, I've been ignoring it, but what the hell's with the 'smell' thing? What the hell are you?"

Gibbs and Tony shared a look and Tony nodded decisively.

"I'm a Sentinel. We were 'Watchmen' in history, the protectors of the tribes. All my senses are enhanced, I can smell a lie. I can also smell delusions, it's different to a lie but it's still not the truth, some part of the brain knows it's not real and fights the rest, it's a distinctive smell."  
"Sentinel?"  
"Yup."  
"Right, there was something in Dad's journal, said to stay away from them, too good at catching a lie, and smelling what ever you fought last."  
"Yeah, I could smell something on you, didn’t have a clue what it was though. That was another point in your favour actually, there's not much I don’t recognise. I've come across a few weird things I couldn’t identify in the last year, since this whole thing started, but not much."  
"Huh, should talk to Bobby, he could probably ID anything you can remember. Can I call Sam now?"  
"I gave you your phone, you can call him any time."  
"Yeah, but can I?"  
"You can call him Dean, he's welcome in our home. Tell him to come round the back, so we don’t have to disturb the front, less chance of being seen too."

Dean looked between the two of them incredulously as Gibbs spoke, he still couldn’t wrap his head around this whole situation. While he was thinking he pulled his phone out of his pocket and text Sam the address, told him to come round the back and be nice. He got one back moments later telling him Sam had traced his phone and would be with him in a minute.

"Huh, sneaky little shit! He's outside, followed my phone."

Gibbs grinned as Tony chuckled and got up to fetch a cup for Sam then open the door for him. As he reached the door Sam was about to knock. Tony looked up at him, it wasn’t often he had to do that, and smiled.

"Hi Sam, I'm Tony. Dean's in the kitchen with Gibbs."

Sam was understandably wary but not afraid, which was pretty much what Tony had expected. They walked into the kitchen and Dean lit up, his shoulders looked relaxed and the tension seemed to just fall right off him.

"Hey Sammy!"  
"It's Sam, and hey."  
"Yeah, I know. They're good."  
"Got any water?"  
"Yeah, but I told you, they're good, I'm good, it's all good. They even got a doc to check me over."  
"Really? And how did that go?"  
"Fine."

Sam was grinning now, he obviously knew how Dean felt about doctors and found it amusing.

"Bitch!"  
"Jerk!"  
"Now sit down and drink your coffee. Gibbs is gonna cook steak!"  
"For breakfast? Really?"  
"No, later. Ducky's bringing breakfast."  
"Really? I liked the old dude, you'll love him Sammy, he's got a story for everything!"

Sam just looked at him, he couldn’t quite figure out what, but there was something off here. Dean was more relaxed than he could ever remember seeing him, and it was a little disquieting to say the least. He had followed Dean to this house, stayed up all night just in case he was needed, expecting to find a stressed Dean ready to make a break for it. Until he got the text telling him to 'be nice' he had been armed to the teeth and ready to storm the house at a moments notice. To see Dean so, happy, with these strangers was, to be honest, pissing him off! He, and Cas, had tried to help Dean and make him happy for years, and only ever seemed to make him worse, these strangers come along and suddenly all is puppies and kittens? It wasn’t right. Maybe they were witch's? That could be it, they could have used any number of spells on Dean, they could have done anything to him over night!

"Get a grip Sammy! You'd have noticed something by now if they were witch's. besides, they're feds! What are the chances? And they're gonna try and get us legit!"  
"Legit? How? Do you know how many warrants there are? You're on the FBI's most wanted for Christ's sake!"  
"Sit down and shut up, now!"

Gibbs didn’t raise his voice, he didn’t need to, the temperature dropped by several degrees just from his tone. Sam sat automatically, which pissed him off once he realised it. He glared at Gibbs but the man was like a brick wall, a very forbidding one at that. Sam shuddered, though he tried to hide it. Gibbs wasn’t too happy either.

"I know damn well that every word Dean has told me, he believes. I know he isn't delusional, for many reasons. I put away criminals, not people doing their job, however weird the job. So we are going to sort out what we can. Abbs has found a flaw in the bank footage that lends reasonable doubt as to its integrity. Plenty of the other offences contradict each other so they can all be thrown out as inadmissible. The biggest problem the FBI have with you is St Louis, and they buried the guy with your face, documented it real well, didn’t want any question as to the kill. IAB went over it with a fine tooth comb, so Fornell's file says. Their own evidence exonerates you for that one. The other is the bank job, and that's sorted. All you got left are a few grave desecrations and a lot of supposition. Tony's got a hell of an imagination, he can come up with something. We can see what Ducky has to say when he gets here, cause if he's never heard of any of this then it aint real."  
"I think I know how real my life has been!"  
"Sammy, drop it! Ducky's good people, reminds me of Missouri."

Sam stared at him intensely.

"How much?"  
"Not sure, but he aint ignorant."  
"And he's got great timing."

Tony said with a grin as he heard Ducky's car pull in to the street, it had a very distinct engine and he had been waiting for it. He nodded to Gibbs and walked out the back door to go and meet Ducky. Gibbs nodded back then looked at Dean, the man was tense again after only minutes in his brothers company, and it really did piss him off. The worst of it was that he knew just how hard it would be on Dean if anyone tried separating them now, he would just have to find a good excuse and a way to keep Deans mind occupied. Until then he had to hear what Ducky had to say. Sam was sulking, but at least he was quiet. Dean looked tired, even more so than when they had finished talking the night before, he automatically fell into 'big brother' mode as soon as Sam was around, which wasn’t surprising, it was just annoying as hell, they had actually gotten him to calm down. Though he also noticed that any sign of withdrawal had disappeared as soon as Sam walked in too, so mixed blessing, also very telling. It wasn’t long before Tony came back in with Ducky and introduced him to Sam. Ducky nodded to both the 'boys' and smiled at Dean. Then he looked Gibbs straight in the eye with a deadly serious face.

"It's all true. I checked with a few people last night, and as far as I can tell, every word was true. You and Anthony were right to believe them."  
"Huh. One day I would love to hear everything you know, but it would take a few life times and more bourbon than I'm comfortable with. Thanks Duck."

Ducky gave him that secretive and slightly sly grin of his that never failed to drive Gibbs mad with curiosity. He often berated Ducky for talking too much about irrelevant things during cases, but out of work he could happily listen to the man for hours on end, and often did. Sam and Dean were looking between them, understanding the words, and the meaning behind them, but still not sure where this was going, Sam wondering what the hell Dean had said. Gibbs grinned at Dean.

"Like I said, if Ducky aint heard of it, it don't exist. The two of you should stay here for a while, till we get the legal side sorted out. Then we'll have to find some sort of cover for you."  
"I can have words with Leon if you'd like Jethro. He knows more than you might imagine, between the two of us I'm sure we can think of something."  
"Right, we'll sort out the legal side first, give it to him clean, less for him to complain about."  
"Now Jethro, I thought you had sorted your differences with Leon."  
"He keeps messing with my people, and my cases. Keeps trying to tell me that as NCIS agents they're 'his' people too."

Gibbs was grinning by then, and a smile was spread over Ducky's face. Ducky shook his head in mock exasperation.

"Some people will never learn, these Directors keep getting ideas above their station, don’t they?"  
"Sure do Duck, they sure do!"

The five men sat drinking their coffee and eating the copious amounts of pastries Ducky had bought for breakfast. They talked of inconsequential things while they ate, from the weather to movies, Tony being appalled by their lack of knowledge there of. Living out of a car and cheap motels was not the best way to keep up with pop culture, or the news for that matter. 

"You haven't heard anything about the invasion?"  
"We were outside Salem, Oregon for about a month, when we got to the town we heard something, thought people were talking about a new film, we get that a lot, you learn to just nod and go along so you don’t stand out too much. We didn’t have the money for films growing up, so we learnt to fake it well, you stand out enough as the new kid all the time."  
"Wow, you managed to go over six months without getting the whole story, and I thought you were out of touch Jet! At least with you it's only pop culture! Ow!"

Gibbs slapped Tony round the back of the head before grinning at him. 

"It wasn’t a film, we were called in along with every other LEO and military personnel. The whole planet was on high alert for a while there. These 'Avengers' are something else, I can see why you thought it was a movie, it's all pretty fantastical."  
"So how did it all end up?"  
"They caught Loki, the Æsir that led the attack, and Thor took him back to Asgard. I feel for the young man, not much of the Norse mythology we have is correct, but there are nuggets of truth in there. Unfortunately the worst bits are generaly true. All of his children have been taken from him, in punishment for something that may or may not happen in the future, that is the worst part of prophesy, often it is self fullfilling, if nobody had heard the damned things they would never have come true. It is generaly the mesures taken to prevent them that cause them."

Ducky was unusually worked up over this, though they could all understand why, none more so than Sam and Dean.

"Yeah, I know how that goes."

Sam looked at Dean when he spoke, he knew what he meant, he was just surprised Dean would say such a thing in front of strangers. His brother had been different since his return from Hell, but it had been so much worse since his own return, and the loss of Cas had almost killed him. There had been a long time there Sam had thought he was going to lose his brother. Now, he really didn’t know what was going on, but he was starting like it. The conversation went on for hours, they found out everything that had happened during the invasion, in detail, from Ducky, plenty about films from Tony and more than most people heard in a week from Gibbs. Eventually Gibbs became serious again.

"Who are we reading in on this?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"They have to tell some people at least Dean, they have to get the FBI off our backs if nothing else."  
"Right. Like the Director and that Fornell guy, but you already said about those, who else?"  
"That will mostly depend on the Director Dean. Leon is a good man but he has rules and superiors he still has to answer to. If it weren't for the FBI we could do this a lot quieter, as it is Jethro and I will both be calling in a lot of favours, there are also a few friends of mine that I think you should meet. But first I need to know what your intentions are for the future."  
"How do you mean Sir?"  
"Please, call me Ducky Sam, everyone does. And I mean do you intend to continue Hunting or can we offer you a little peace?"

Sam and Dean stared at him in stunned silence for a long moment, neither of them had even considered it. Sam remembered Stanford, the peace of a 'normal' life, not having to sleep in a car or shitty motel, knowing he would be in one place for more than a month at a time. Dean had never had peace, didn’t really grasp the conept, to him, peace was a full tank of gas and plenty of ammo, salt and Holy water. Ducky smiled at them like he knew what they were thinking, and Sam could see why Dean likened him to Missouri, it was like he saw right into their souls. 

"How? Can you get Sammy into Law school?"  
"Why would he need help? He had it all but the interview before you had to leave."  
"Yeah, but you can't get in to law with a record, even a DUI can screw it up."  
"Dean, let us worry about the legal side, what do you want?"  
"I want Sammy in law school!"  
"Not for me Dean, for you!"  
"Quite right young man. I don’t suppose you could sit through college for your engeneering degree at this point could you?"  
"Engeneering?"  
"Yes. You're not the only brains in the family, despite your fathers efforts to prove otherwise."  
"What?"

Sam was looking at Dean, he was not liking where this seemed to be going, and Dean didn’t seem too keen either if the hanging head and hunched shoulders were anything to go by.

"Dean got accepted into MIT. He never knew because your father told him the acceptence letter would be with him within a week of applying."  
"That's ridiculous! Dad knew how long it would take, that teacher, before you started seniors, said he wanted to apply for a college course for you, but Dad said we had to move on. That bastard! He told me they wanted to put you in college because you were causing so much trouble so I shouldn’t mention it!"

Gibbs and Tony shared a look again, they were doing a lot of that lately. Ducky heaved a pained sigh for such lost potential. 

"Do you think you could sit through a day in college Dean?"

Dean just looked up at him through his eyelashes, barely raising his head, with the most heartbreakingly lost look in his eyes. Ducky smiled at him reasuringly.

"Not to worry lad, my good friend Anthony, not our Tony, is an engineer, I'm sure he'll be able to find you something, I'll call Harold later, see if they can't find time to meet you, I think you should get on quite well, you both have a thing about injustice, and finding your way out of hell, wether literal or figurative. He's very open minded, and very curious! He'll want to know everything you can teach him about the supernatural, so don’t be surprised if he hounds you for answers, he's never happy with knowing less than every thing."

Sam and Dean both shuddered at that, Ducky smiled at them.

"Don’t panic boys, he really does know better than to go on for too long in one go."

Sam winced and glanced at Dean.

"Yeah, we don’t tend to use the 'H' word."  
"Ah! Righty ho! Well, he may go on but he just needs to know. I suspect you two will have more in common than you expect, despite very different social standing. Anyway, I really will have to get going if I'm to catch Harold today, he may even be able to help with a few other things."

Gibbs couldn’t help but grin, he was pretty sure he knew who 'Anthony' was and thought Ducky was right about them having a lot in common. From what he had read and heard from Ducky they were way too similar! If he were in a fanciful mood he may have considered the possibility of the universe imploding if the two ever met. As he was not feeling fanciful, he decided he didn’t want to be anywhere near them when it happened, he would leave the introductions to Ducky. Ducky said his fair wells and Gibbs saw him out to his car. As Ducky was about to pull away Gibbs saw a camera being lowered in a car just up the street from them.

"Duck, get Abbs on the phone as soon as you can, we have someone watching us, red Ford Cosworth, two men, you can get the descriptions and licence number as you pass, you're headed for them. Get her to look it up, I'll get Tony upstairs with the good camera and see if she can get anythng off facial recognition. The sooner we can get them out of here the better, I take it your 'friend' should be able to help with that."  
"But of course Jethro, I'll speak to you later. Take good care of them, I have a feeling about those boys, especialy Dean."  
"Yeah, me too Duck, me too."

With that he stood up and patted the top of the car as Ducky pulled away, walking casualy back to the house where he picked up a pad and pen and wrote Tony a note telling him about the men in the car and sending photos to Abby. He then wrote a quick note to Dean and Sam, telling them to carry on as normal just in case they had some kind of listening device. Tony grinned at him after reading the note, just slightly malisciously, grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss before running from the kitchen and heading up the stairs. Gibbs shook his head in exasperation as his lover fled the room, chuckling as he took in Sam's blush and Dean's slightly wistful look of longing. 

"Too much coffee and sitting around, he gets frisky. If I don’t give him something to do, he'll find something."

Dean grinned at that, it was something he could certainly understand, he hated having nothing to do. And research was even worse, sat reading for long stretches, by which he meant more than two minutes, gave him the worst headache, his eyes would get sore and everything else would get tense as he struggled to concentrate on the words. He had never understood how Sam could do it for hours and enjoy it, he certainly had a masocistic streak but that was too far even for him. Then Gibbs handed him the other note and he frowned before passing it to Sam. They shared a look and nodded to Gibbs before Dean asked when lunch was.

"Dean, we just finished breakfast, you can not eat all the time!"

Gibbs glared at Sam for that as Dean went stiff, he knew Sam didn’t know any better but still. 

"Sam, make a list of anything you need, Dean, you're with me."

As usual Gibbs didn’t wait for a response, he grabbed his car keys and walked out the back door. Dean shrugged at Sam and followed him, he didn’t know why he trusted this man as much as he did but it was there, and it wasn’t going away. Sam sighed and started muttering about bottomless pits and anoying overbearing feds as they left.

They didn’t talk until they were several turns away from the house and Gibbs was sure they weren't being followed. 

"I have everyone looking into the watchers, we'll know who they are soon enough. If they're LEO's I'll deal with it officialy, if they're Hunters, that's your area, what do you want me to do?"  
"Thanks, not many would bother to ask. Depends who they are, I didn’t recognise them, so it's no one I know, could be someone after Sam, there were a lot of people willing to kill him when I got back from Hell, they did kill us once, and then there's anyone he pissed off in that year without his soul, of which there were plenty from what I've seen. But that was all a long time ago, I know Hunters have long memories but seems like odd timing."  
"Yeah, hopefully it's FBI and I'll get Fornell on it. If they are Hunters how do you want to play it?"  
"If it's Hunters after us, arrest them, hand them over to the locals, whatever, most of us have at least a few outstanding warents in various states. I just need to know how they found us."

Gibbs didn’t say anything more. It wasn’t long before they had reached the shops. Gibbs got plenty of steak from his usual butcher along with all the fixings for a healthy salad and sides, including everything for Tony's home made coleslaw. As they were getting back in the car Gibbs phone rang. 

"What you got Abbs?"

Dean waited impatiently for the call to be over, not able to get much from Gibbs grunts and one word comments but the small grin on his face was encouraging.

"FBI, Abbs is calling Fornell, lets see if we can get there first!"

Dean was rather surprised by the change in Gibbs driving, he had, up until then, been driving like most of the other drivers, but now he started driving like a fed! The drive back took them less than half the time. Gibbs pulled up right behind the watchers car and got out, storming straight to the drivers door and knocked on the window. Dean laughed as he watched the two men jump, the FBI really needed to train their men to be more observant. He couldn’t hear the conversation from inside the car but he could see Gibbs completely impasive face as he scared the crap out of them. The two men soon pulled away and as soon as they were out of sight Gibbs smiled. Gibbs got back in the car, still smiling, and parked properly. Dean grinned at him.

"You really are a sadistic son of a bitch aren't ya?"  
"Bastard. And you say that like it's a bad thing."  
"Oh hell no! you can be sadistic with me any time!"

Gibbs looked at him closely for a moment.

"You know that's not gonna happen, and why, right?"

Dean ducked his head and stared at his boots. Gibbs sighed and reached over, curling his hand around the back of his neck and squeezing tightly. Dean shuddered and his head fell to the side, bearing his neck.

"Me and Tony, we're a done deal, neither of us want anything else. There is nothing wrong with you Dean, nothing at all. You could stand to sort out your drinking, but none of us expect miracals. Stop throwing yourself out there and just look for a while, eh? You might be surprised what you find. Come on."

With that he gave one last squeeze and got out of the car. Dean didn’t need coddling, just a little direction now and then. He would generaly say a firm hand but with Dean that would be teasing, and though he wasn’t above it, Dean deserved better. At this point his head was well and truly messed up and sex, or teasing about it, was the last thing he needed, especially from Gibbs. Once they were back in the house it was like nothing had happened, as soon as Dean saw Sam a wall came up on his emotions and a fake grin took over. It was a damn good fake, not many would see it as such, and Sam was probably so used to seeing it that even he didn’t realise it wasn’t real. 

Gibbs main problem right now was the boys themsleves. From an outsiders perspective he could see that the best thing for both of them would be time apart, and plenty of it. Sam had had time away from the 'family business', had become his own person with his own opinions and perspectives. Dean had never had that chance, he had always been the protector, even when Sam had left he had been protecting his father and random strangers from the supernatural threats he was trying to kill. He had spent his entire life in combat, however you tried to sell it, he was a soldier in a gurilla war, and there were no lines to hide behind. Wherever he was was the front line, he was always on high alert. It was not a healthy way to live, which is why the armed forces rotated people out of active war zones, nobody stayed on the battle lines for ninty percent of their life without suffering psychologicaly for it. This was not the kind of thing they generaly had to deal with on American soil, but he had seen it in other countries, those children born into war with no end in sight. Most of those people he hadn't been able to help much, this young man he could.

Gibbs put the bags of groceries on the table and started getting food out. He gave Dean a chopping board and a knife, handed him vegetables and started getting things out for his steak. After a few moments he realised that Dean was stood looking between the aubergine and the knife in slight horror. He looked over to Sam who was watching with a smirk and realised he would really have to watch his attitude with him, it wasn’t really Sam's fault, though if he cared to really look he could have seen plenty and helped his brother. He took a deep breath to steady his fraying nerves.

"Sam, go tell Tony the feeb's are gone, help him with the bar b que, set up the tables and get the gazebo out. Tell him to call in the lot for diner."

Then he turned back to Dean and ignored the younger brother. Sam was more than a little put out, and wondering what the hell he had done to piss Gibbs off this time, it seemed every time he breathed the older man found some fault in him, it was almost like being back with dad. He left the kitchen as quickly as he could without looking like he was running away, hoping he could drag out the chores and stay out of his way. Gibbs picked up another aubergine and knife and started teaching Dean.

"You top and tail most veg, if the skin is old you peal it, if not you clean it. We're roasting these, gonna do what Tony calls 'mediteranian' veg, I call it good eatin'. Take the top off these aubergines, cut down the middle, then again, then you get big chunks, rough diced, like this. You put them on a roasting tray, like this one. Onions next, I prefer the red ones, though they're purple, not red still don’t know why they call em red. Top and tail, peel off the rough shit, then cut in half. These carrots are young, so run em under the tap, then top and tail and chuck em in too. Squash is the same as the aubergines. Then you cover them lightly in oil, salt and pepper, chuck it in the oven. Can't go wrong."

While he was speaking Gibbs was showing Dean the best way to deal with the vegetables, giving him an invaluable lesson, as well as the gift of his time and patience. Dean had never been taught to cook, he had fed Sam out of tins and the microwave as they grew up and once he was old enough to 'earn' his own money he had generaly lived on take out and dinners. This was not something his father thought necessary for hunting, so he had never bothered. Dean took to cooking like a duck to water, Gibbs didn’t use recipies so he didn’t have to try and read anything, unlike the one time he had tried to cook for Sam when they were kids, and his instructions were simple and to the point without being condescending. He found it relaxing cutting all the veg, and making sure they were evenly covered in oil was fun. Once the trays of veg were in the oven ready to roast Gibbs moved on to the meat and showed him how to make the sauce's. They made plenty of food for everyone, even Tony's 'famous' coleslaw which Dean found was simplicity its self to make and tasted better than any he had had before. 

************ 

Sam left the kitchen and walked quickly up the stairs calling out for Tony. Once he found him and relayed Gibbs message Tony grinned at him. 

"Don’t worry, he's the same with everyone, takes him a while to warm up to people. I worked for him for years before he smiled at me."  
"He's warmed up to Dean well enough."  
"Special case, and don’t sulk, you look like a five year old, not attractive."  
"What exactly have I done to piss you people off?"

Tony looked him square in the eyes for a long while before he made up his mind.

"Your brother has PTSD, at the very least. We are aware thet neither of you had an easy childhood, but Dean had to raise you too. I don’t think you’ve ever even thought about it, why would you it was 'normal' for you, but Dean had everything you did growing up and plenty on top. He had the responsibility of raising you and looking after your father when he was there. I've never had kids, I don’t know what it's like, but Jethro does, he lost his daughter, so he knows the responsibility and privalige it is to raise a young person to their potential. You left for college, nobody blames you for that, don’t get me wrong, it took a hell of a lot of guts to get out of that kind of life, to go against your father and indirectly Dean, to leave it all behind. But Dean didn’t have that chance, it was stolen from him by an insecure, obsesive, controling bastard who couldn’t handle the thought of his sons being better than him. You are a very inteligent person Sam Winchester, you got in to Stanford. Now consider what it takes to get invited to MIT at fourteen."

Sam looked at him in stunned silence trying to take it all in, especialy the last bit.

"Yeah. We found every school you two ever attended, when Dean was fourteen he had a very perceptive teacher, that man gave him the entrance exam for MIT, I doubt he ever told him, then submited it for him. MIT were over the moon years later when they got another request for entrance from their missing genius. But again he didn’t turn up, never knew he got in, twice. Not even Dean knows about the first one yet, I just thought you should know your brother is a bonafide genius. Abby and McGee were practicaly drooling over his scores and the samples his teachers had sent in with his applications. Aparently his mind works on many and varied levels and Abby wants his mind babies. Last I heard she was trying to think of ways to ask him for a sperm sample. The point is, you aren't the smartest in the family, but you speak to him like an idiot. You probably don’t even realise you're doing it, it's so ingrained, I imagine your father did it too, that's probably where you picked it up, it's definitely a learnt behaviour. Don’t even think it. You will listen, because I have more to say and you will hear it. Nobody blames you for doing what you've always done, but at some point you have to be taught or you will never realise your mistakes. You can't learn better if you're never told you're wrong. 

"First thing you really need to know is this, do not 'ever' critasise Dean for eating. Not even a look or tut, nothing. Our ME was an MD for a lot of years, he knows long term malnutrition when he sees it. Dean spent most of his formative years going without so you could eat. Don’t look so shocked, take a while later and think back, I'm sure you'll see it if you look hard enough. The day we arrested him, by the time we interviewed him in the evening he hadn't eaten for three days straight. There wasn’t much money was there? He told you the smell of your salad dressing turned his stomach, he tried the same bull on us, but why hadn't he already got food? If you had yours why didn’t he get his at the same time? Because there wasn’t enough money for him to leave you and be sure 'you' had enough while he was Hunting, because he wasn’t sure how long it would take. That is what life has taught your brother. He has to go without so you have plenty. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means you need educating, and Jethro is frustrated because he hasn’t been able to have this conversation with you. Not that it would have taken him this long, he would have probably smacked you round the back of the head and told you to get your head out of your ass and waited for you to figure it out. Though, with the way Dean reacted to a headslap, maybe not."

Sam had a moment of horror at the thought of Deans probable reaction to someone trying to slap him around the head, especialy if he wasn’t expecting it, but Tony continued speaking.

"Personaly I think it's a lot quicker to tell you straight, then you don’t screww up any more. Dean, for reasons even he doesn’t understand, trusts Jethro. Personaly, I'm biased, and I've knwn him a long time, he has had my back for years at work and we've been together through a lot of shit, profesional and personal. He is my Guide, and I mean that litteraly, I'm a Sentinal, from the look on your face you've heard about us before so I wont go into detail, but I know he is there for me, whatever. Dean must have one hell of a gut, and he follows it instinctively, I imagin it's what's kept him alive. Jethro is a good man, he is damned perseptive and has a hell of a gut instinct his self. He knew Dean was telling us the truth without me having to confirm it, that's why you're here, not trying to spring Dean from the FBI. I can't make you see, or understand, but while you're under this roof you will treat your brother with respect, and you will not under any circumstances mention his eating, it's gonna be hard enough to get him eating properly without interferance, intended or not. So, lecture over, I have calls to make, then we'll set up the garden, we have a lot of people over tonight, and Ziva is almost as jumpy as you two, so it should be fun. By the way, no weapons tonight, lets keep the bloodshed to a minimum."

With that Tony smiled brightly at him and pulled a phone from his belt, quickly dialing someone as he walked down the stairs. Sam followed him quietly. His mind was realing, the whole 'genius' thing was a step too far so he ignored it for now and concentrated on the rest of it, though he resolved to watch how he treated Dean. He cast his mind back over the last week and realised that not only had Dean not eaten in the three days Tony had said about, but he hadn't eaten for a couple of days at the beginning of the week either, and he had given him a lecture about his eating habbits in the last dinner they had gone too, complaining about his eating two burgers and sides in one meal, which was the last time he had eaten before going after the Nix. He couldn’t believe he had never seen it! Dean always stuffed his self when he ate, with the highest caloric food he could get his hands on, which was no surprise when he really thought about it and considered how often he didn’t eat. How many times had Dean come in with a meal for him and told him he ate on the way? How many times had he said he would eat later? How many times had Dean gone hungry over the years for him? Tony had very logicaly pointed out that it wasn’t his fault, it was Dad's, but that didn’t excuse him never noticing. It also didn’t excuse him treating Dean like an idiot so often. Even if Dean wasn’t as smart as him, which it seemed might be wishful thinking, it wasn’t right to treat anyone that way and he wouldn’t consider doing it to anyone else, it was just natural with Dean, like sharing a bed if there was only one available, like sleeping in the car if they were short of money. Like Hunting. 

He followed Tony out to the garden and did as he was told, though he was always asked politely, to set everything up for the meal later, still thinking about everything Tony had told him. Then he started wondering about what Tony hadn't told him. As he went over the conversation he noticed several things, the main one being the hostility toward their father. Tony wasn’t obvious about it, but Sam had enough experience 'interviewing' people to get a feel for what was between the lines, what wasn’t said was often more telling than what was. So what was more important than what Tony had told him? What hadn't he been told, what wasn’t he remembering or had never been witness to? What else didn’t he know about his brother that these men had found out, or figured out, within 24 hours of meeting him? They eventualy finished seting everything up and Tony surveyed their work, declaring it good, so they headed back inside. When they walked back into the kitchen Tony went straight to Gibbs and gave him a quick kiss, smiling as he told him everything was ready and the others would be on their way shortly. Gibbs nodded and told Dean to turn the oven on then join him by the bar b que so they could start the meat. Gibbs knew Tony would have lit the coals first thing out there so they would be ready to cook on. As they walked out to the garden Tony smiled at Sam.

"Come on, help me take this lot out and you can watch a master at work."

Sam smiled back at him warily, still not too sure of his welcome here, in this place Dean found his self so at home. As they ferried the side dishes out to the garden Sam realised Tony wasn’t just talking about Gibbs cooking. Gibbs was stood to the side of the grill, showing Dean exactly how he wanted everything done, correcting him gently without him even realising it half of the time, a gentle hand to the shoulder or nudge in the right direction had Dean grilling like a pro in no time and Sam marveled at how quickly his brother was learning everything he was shown. Gibbs hadn't had to tell him anything twice, not one thing, as soon as he was shown he corrected his mistake and never repeated it. Sam finished helping Tony then sat down quietly and alowed his mind to wander back, to consider everything he had always taken for granted, namely everything Dean ever did for him. He thought back to Dean teaching him how to use the first gun Dad had given him, his unending patience as he corrected his stance again and again, showing him, teaching him, allowing him to improve on his own time and never berating him for messing up. The only time Dad had ever mentioned his teaching was to tell Dean to work harder because Sam had hit one target slightly off centre. He remembered his school prom and the suit Dean had apeared with the night before the event, along with his first ever dress shoes. Then he thought back further and tried to remember Dean's prom. He couldn’t. He remembered Dean's graduation, or at least his last day of school, he had been unwell on the day of Deans actual graduation cerimony, Dean had told him he wasn’t going anyway so it didn’t matter. Just how many things 'didn’t matter' for Dean? How many times had Sam him self taken his life and the extra indulgences Dean provided for him for granted? He had a sudden flash of memory, sitting at the breakfast table, argueing with Dean over the last bowl of cereal, he couldn’t even remember what kind, Dean giving in, letting him have a bowl, the last in the box. He tried as hard as he could but he couldn’t remember Dean eating that night. He remembered Dean making lunch for him to take to school, but there was only one bag on the counter, there was only ever one lunch bag made on a morning.

Tony had been watching the three other men. He couldn’t help smiling as Jethro took Dean under his wing, it was amazing to watch him treat the younger man almost the same way he did Abby, only not so hands-on. It was just as amazing to watch Dean relax and take in everything he was being taught. He was soaking up the new knowledge like a parched sponge, just begging for the next morsel of knowledge, and the attention. There was no way he realised it, but Dean was constantly leaning in towards Jethro. Since they had gotten to the kitchen this morning he hadn't been more than arms length from Gibbs for more than a few moments at a time. Ducky had mentioned the same the night before, they would have to watch him, make sure he didn’t get too attatched, it wouldn’t be healthy for the young man to get too attatched to anyone, let alone someone he couldn’t keep. Dean was a naturaly nurturing person, he also had a deep seated need to please, help and protect. He also had a very carefully hidden submisive side, they would have to watch that too, despite his strength he would be easily played by the wrong kind of person. Up till now he had been moving around too much to fall prey to that kind of person, but if they managed to get him settled they would have to vet anyone that tried to get close to him. Tony realised these thoughts were verging on obsesive behaviour, but Jethro had taken Dean on as a friend, a protégé, and he never took that lightly, and nor would Tony. He also knew he wasn’t alone in feeling slightly responsible for the young man, and even Sam to a lesser degree. Sam knew the world as it was, he had grown up away from his fathers influence, and hadn't been preyed on by him in the first place. Dean needed to be taught how the 'normal' world worked, how to survive with the rest of the world and not get lost in it. It was very much like letting a child loose in a jungle alone, nobody with a modicum of humanity could do it.

The bigest problem would be finding an excuse good enough to get past Dean for separating the two. Tony knew Jethro was thinking along the same lines. Dean would never become his own person as long as his little brother was there to be protected, and he wouldn’t let him out of his sight without worrying his self to death unless he was completely sure he was safe and happy. He looked over at Sam and realised they could have a disaster on their hands if he didn’t act soon. Sam had apparently just had an epiphany, and not a nice one, it was writen all over his face, the horror and tears waiting to fall. Tony stood slowly, he knew it wasn’t a good idea to startle either of the boys, and touched Sams arm gently.

"Come give me a hand, the others will be here soon."

Sam looked up at him with haunted eyes, silently asking 'why?'. Tony knew what he was thinking, and could make a pretty good guess at what he had just been remembering. He had to get him away from Dean before he noticed anything was wrong, or the over protective protector would come out in force and they had worked too hard to get him relaxed for that. It also wouldn’t do Sam any good right now, so Tony led him into the house and as far from the garden as he could. 

"I know, sucks when reality slaps you in the face from your own past doesn’t it? The best thing you can do now, for both of you, is put it away and think of something else. We're about to have almost half a dozen guests of various levels of boistrousness invade the house. Dean is happy, he feels safe and secure, he knows you're safe, now you have to show him you're happy. He's been playing his part all your life, now it's time for you to play yours. You have to be as happy and care free as you can possibly act, for Dean. Because as soon as he gets the slightest hint that you're not happy he's gonna try and fix it, and this can't be fixed, all you can do is learn from it, and learn to live with it. You've been watching them, have you ever seen Dean this relaxed? At least four new people are about to arrive, Dean's spent some time with Ducky, as you saw earlier he likes him. Last time he saw Abby he almost attacked her. Not his fault, she's a touchy feely sort, she was trying to hug him. He didn’t expect it so he got defensive, then Jethro did what he always does when we screw up, mostly me, he tried to slap his head. Yeah, it went about that well. Jethro has a lot of respect for your brothers fighting skills. Not many can beat Jethro, I'm not sure I could, and I've never seen it happen yet. He told me last night that if it weren't for Dean being distracted, trying to make sure Abby was safe when she screamed, he didn’t think he would have won. That's a hellish thing coming from Gibbs. I've seen him take down more active service men and women than you can imagine as well as terrorists and your average scum, so I gotta admit, if you make your brother protect you, I'm gonna shoot you first. Understood?"

Sam was used to dealing with evil, with the supernatural scum of the earth, and Hell, so he didn’t scare easily. He was honest enough with his self that he could admit that this man, who was generaly so laid back he was practicaly horizontal, was bloody intimidating!

"Yes Sir!"  
"Like I told Dean, I'm not Gibbs, but don’t 'Sir' me, I work for a living. That's Ducky and Abby's cars, which means most of them are here, so, game face on! Lets go play!"

And with that Tony practicaly bounced to the back door to go round and greet everyone. Sam was left stunned again, and rather intimidated, also wondering how Tony didn’t give his self whiplash with his emotional switches. He took a moment to pull his self together, then, once he was sure he would pass Dean's muster, went to join the others. Abby was surprising, to say the least, McGee was a little shy to begin with but soon came out of his shell with a little teasing from Tony, and Ziva was something else entirely. By the end of the first hour Sam had to admit he was smitten, Ziva was stunning to look at, there was no doubting that, but the rest of her was even better. She was strong, both physicaly and mentaly, confident, respectful, open-minded and had a mischivious streak a mile wide. She was pretty much the perfect woman. At first he was surprised that Dean wasn’t flirting outragiously like he normaly did, but it slowly sank in that that must be an act as well. He had seen how Dean reacted to Gibbs, he knew without doubt that if the man had been single Dean would have been all over him, he had seen it before, though Dean didn’t know he knew. It was something Dean had gone to obvious lengths to hide, so Sam had respected it and never mentioned it. He had often thought about letting Dean know he had no problem with it, but all his hints and comments in support of gays had been ignored so he had dropped it. 

Dean was watching everyone. He spent the first hour or so seizing everyone up, determining the true threat levels and weaknesses of every person he didn’t know. For all that he trusted Gibbs, and he still didn’t know why but accepted it as fact and moved on, he didn’t know the others. By the time he was done he had seen just how tight knit this group were, you didn’t get that close unless you trusted the others completely, not with a group like this. So he eventualy relaxed again and started to enjoy the evening. The conversations were interesting, Duckys stories he could listen to forever, and the others were fun too. He was amused to note Sams interest in Ziva. The woman was dangerous, there was no mistaking that, but she was the good kind of dangerous, one you could trust at your back, so he was happy with Sams choice and wished him well. Abby, now he was getting used to her physical aproach to life and people, was fun, she had a kind heart and good soul. McGee was a good man, not as tough as the others on the field team, but an expert in his field, which just happened to be one he was interested in. He slowly lead the conversation with him and Abby in the direction of technology and wasn’t disapointed. McGee was off on a roll, Abby more than keeping up and though he stumbled a few times on new terminology, Dean was right there with them, showing almost as much knowledge as them and a way of jumping logical tracks that even left them behind on occation. 

Gibbs smiled at Ducky and Tony, they were talking but mostly concentrating on watching the others. Ziva and Sam were getting along nicely, there was obvious chemistry between them and they were all happy with that, they would make a good pair. Dean was in his element! He was talking tech with Tim and Abby and keeping up! They all noted a few looks pass between Tim and Abby, where Dean had run off on a tangent and it took a while for them to catch up to him. It was amazing to see him like this, and they knew Sam was seeing it to, which just made it even better. Sam was finaly getting to see his brother for who he really was, not the tin soldier his father had tried to make him. Ducky took a moment to mourn the child Dean had been, for the time he had lost to an abusive and ignorant parent, for what he could have already done and created if he had been allowed the chance. Then he moved past the what if's and maybe's and concentrated on the future. Jethro had got Tony to text him earlier in the day to find out how things were going on his end, and ask him to try and think of ways to separate the brothers without being obvious about it, and he thought he might just have the solution now. He decided Sam and Ziva had had enough time to 'bond' for now so it would be a good time to start easing them into a few ideas. He knew Jethro would follow his lead on this even though it meant he would be separated from Dean, it was for the best all round, painful though it might be in the short term.

"Sam my dear boy! How would you feel about joining NCIS?"

Sam was understandably stunned, it seemed to be his usual state around these people.

"Uh, I'm not sure how that would be possible, or what I could do? I don’t have any experience with solving crimes that don’t involve the supernatural."  
"No, no my dear boy, I was thinking in the legal department. We have a wonderful legal department here in DC, but we are always looking for bright young lawyers. With your experiance in Hunting you would have a unique insight into how Jethro and the field teams work, which would be a great bonus for all of us. We run many aprentice programs, you could work your way through a degree, earn and learn while you work up to your bar exam. You would of course be contracturally obligated to remain with us for a minimum of five years after that or you would be liable for your tuition fees, but that is common practice for aprenticeships. You could get on-base housing too if you wanted, much cheeper. I feel you would do well here, you have a keen mind and a good eye for detail. I think it would be good for you and NCIS."

Sam thought about it for a while before looking to Dean. Dean was smiling proudly at the thought of his brother working with these people, doing good, saving people, just legaly, it would be perfect, and he would be safe on the base, with Gibbs and the others to make sure of it. And he would be near Ziva. Sam smiled at Dean then turned back to Ducky.

"I would love to. It would be nice to get back into law, I always loved it. And working here I know I'll be on the right side of the court room. It would be the perfect job. It would be nice to stay in DC too."

He thought he was sneaky when he shot a look at Ziva, didn’t think anyone noticed. Only he was surounded by profesional investigators whose lives depended on noticing everything that went on around them, and they were naturally nosy sods too. Ziva got a smug little grin for a moment before she hid it, but again it was noted by everyone, except Sam who was looking anywhere but at her. Dean couldn’t have been happier, Sam would finaly be able to practice law, he would be near Gibbs and he would be working for the right people. He would be a lot safer here than he had been in his life, even while he was at Stanford, here he was with Gibbs. It didn’t even cross his mind to think of his own future, he was too happy for Sam. The others had thought of it though, and Ducky had plans in motion already. He would give them a few days to get used to the idea of Sam working here, get his application in and make sure he got a position, which would be easy for Ducky, then he would tell Dean the rest. He would give them this time to settle first though, let Dean get used to the fact that his brother would be safe and happy in DC.

The evening eventually wound down as the food was finished, and everyone pitched in to clean up before they left. Gibbs started turning the lights out and Dean checked all the salt lines, replacing the broken one at the back door as soon as Sam came back from the car with their clothes bags, before heading upstairs, dragging an unresisting Sam with him. They all said their goodnight's before Dean took Sam to the spare room and called first shower. He didn’t linger, getting out and ready for bed, putting one pair of pillows at the foot of the bed and getting in. He knew Sam didn’t like sleeping 'upsidedown' so automaticaly got in at the bottom. Sam came out of the shower to find him already half asleep and marveled at how safe he must feel that he could relax that much while he was out of sight. These people had done wonders for Dean in little more than a day, he just hoped it would continue. He got into bed careful not to disturb Dean any more than necessary and realised just how safe he felt too as he fell asleep.

Dean woke feeling safe, comfortable and refreshed. Sam was still asleep as usual lately so he carefully got out of bed, telling his brother to go back to sleep as he started stiring. It was an old habbit for both of them, Dean had always been the last to sleep and first to rise, except that period they tried not to think of, so Sam fell back in to a deep sleep as Dean left the room. Dean looked at his watch and saw it was just after five, he had had around four hours sleep, a good night for him. He went down to the kitchen and silently moved around preparing the coffee, the only sound coming from the machine. He sat waiting for the coffee to brew and thought. He thought about the situation they had found their selves in, the plans for Sam, and finaly let his self think about his own future. Less than half an hour later he heard a slight noise from upstairs and smiled sadly as he knew Gibbs was on his way. He refilled his cup and poured another for Gibbs, putting it on the table just as the man walked in through the door. Gibbs smiled at him, open and genuine, as he sat down inhailing half the cup in one go.

"I could get used to this, can't get Tony to make the first coffee very often."  
"You wont have chance though, will you?"

Gibbs looked at him steadily for a long while before shaking his head with a sad smile.

"No, I wont. I'd like to, but it wouldn’t be fair."  
"Says who? Maybe fair is letting me stay here, safe, with Sam safe."  
"No, and you know it. Sam will be safe and happy here, he'll be doing what he loves, and if things go right, with someone he loves. What is 'fair' is you being allowed to become 'you'! You have so much potential Dean, and you're still young enough to realise it. Me and Tony are happy, we're settled. Sam will be happy and safe. You have to think of you for the first time in your life, and I know, it scares the crap out of you, but it's time. It's time to find out who Dean Winchester really is. I heard you talking with Tim and Abs last night, you practically glowed! That's who you are Dean, an engineer, a mechanic, a techie! You can be amazing Dean, I can see it, Tony can see it, Ducky sees it so much he's found a place for you already, that friend of his, Anthony, he's waiting for you in Manhattan, job and all. He saw your application for MIT and demanded Ducky bring you to him ASAP. He has a room ready for you and everything. Apparently he's not easy to impress, but work you did as a teen did it, and after what I heard earlier, I can't see him being disappointed."  
"And what if I refuse?"  
"You wont."  
"I could."  
"The choice is yours Dean, the offer is there, but we both know you'll take it, because we both know it's what's best for Sam too."  
"Yeah. So why does it always have to hurt so much? Why do I always have to get hurt to do the right thing?"

Gibbs stood up and walked round to Dean, pulling his head in tight to his chest and just held him as he finally, after years of suffering in silence, gave up and cried. He cried for everything he had lost, all the friends he had left behind and those he had never made, he cried for the young boy who suffered in silence so his brother would never know how it felt to be hungry. He cried for his father, for loosing the happy, safe, man he was before their mother was killed. He cried for all the times he couldn’t while he 'looked after' the man who should have been looking after him and his brother. He cried for all the things he still couldn’t give Sammy, no matter how hard he tried, or what he sacrificed. He cried for everything he had never had, for all the sacrifices he had made. He cried for loosing Sam to Stanford, loosing Dad to the hunt, loosing his self in Hell, loosing Sam to Hell, for loosing Cas. And he cried because he was about to loose again, he was going to loose this man, these people, and he had no choice. He knew he had no choice, because he needed to leave, for Sam, but mostly for him. Like Gibbs had said, he needed to find out who 'Dean' was, not the dutiful son, not the courageous protector or the devoted brother, but Dean, the man, the human being. But god, why did it all have to hurt so much? He could handle physical pain, he had taken thirty years in Hell! This was why he avoided 'chick flick' moments with Sam, because he knew that if he ever let go he wouldn’t be able to stop, like now. Gibbs just waited him out, holding him close, letting him bury his head and hide, petting his hair and letting him work it out. It was very obvious to Gibbs that this man had had little comfort in his life, and it was almost killing him, knowing that he had to let him go when all he wanted to do was keep him close, keep him safe. But that was probably the worst thing he could do to Dean. He needed chance to spread his wings and learn to be his own man, and he knew he wasn’t loosing him. Dean would be back, they would stay close, it wasn’t that far to New York, they would still see each other often enough, and Dean would have the space and safety he so desperately needed to grow.

Dean eventually ran out of tears, but he didn’t let go of Gibbs, he stayed right where he was, as close as possible, until he heard Tony on the stairs. Dean tried to pull away but Gibbs held him still, shushing him gently.

"Hush, you don’t have to move for Tony, he knows how to get his own coffee."

That got the intended chuckle, though it was more than a little watery, and Dean relaxed again. Tony walked in and sighed.

"Oh Dean, why do you have to be so smart? I was hoping you might get a day of peace at least before you figured it out."

It was kind of nice, they knew he would work it out for his self, they just hoped for longer. It was nice not to be considered stupid for once.

"We don’t tell Sam. Not yet, not until he has the job. How soon can that happen?"  
"Ducky's on it, it wont take long."  
"Right. Then we tell him once he has the job, then he wont argue too much."

Gibbs and Tony shared a look over Deans head, he was taking this so well, it showed, along with everything else they had seen of him, how much he was used to sacrificing for his brother. 

They spent the rest of the month getting the brothers legitimate and Sam an internship with the legal department and spending as much time with Dean as they could. He was putting on a hell of an act, making sure Sam was happy and settled. Sam spent a lot of time with the team, but especially Ziva. Once he was officially working for NCIS they got him settled into on-base housing and had a moving in party for him. During the party he gave Dean an open invitation to stay with him any time he wanted, to give Gibbs and Tony their space, and Dean used every ounce of self restraint he had to not break down and cry. They left it two more days before he told Sam he was moving away. Sam took it well, too well for Dean. His little brother didn’t need him any more, hadn't for a long time if he was honest with his self. Dean declined a going away party, told Tony he would actually shoot him if anyone turned up to see him off, he couldn’t take that, not when he had to leave Gibbs. There were no long emotional goodbye's, Ducky came to pick him up in the early evening and he gave the two men he had found comfort and safety with a short nod of farewell, got in Ducky's car and left. They had a room booked for the night and Ducky would introduce him to his friend in the morning. 

He was going to start his life, however much it hurt, he would do what he had always done, put up with the pain and make the best of it.

 

Perfectus.


End file.
